My Uncle Anthony...The Don of Our Lady of the Holy Resurrection

 Hey everyone! Sorry I have been away so long, just real busy at work with lots of deadlines.... you know how it is! Anyhow, last time I started talking about my Uncle Anthony so today I am going to tell you more about him. I will never forget my first day at our new school, back in 1984. Tony were going into sixth grade
and Bruno into first.  We were starting a new school, because we had moved. It was called  "Our Lady of The Holy Resurrection", these long Catholic school names have always cracked me up! The bad thing was, our Uncle Anthony went there. He was going into his final year of elementary school. Little did we know what awaited us at this school...The teachers for one thing, were nuts at this school.  I think they got a cut rate on them because they had all been institutionalized or something, but that is another story for another time! Anyhow....Anthony told me and Tony to meet him in the boiler room after school, which immediately set off our radar for one of his pranks or frame-ups, but when we got there we were met by a sign on the door, "Private: Please Knock"   so we knocked and heard Anthony's voice say "Come In".When we came in to the darkened room, what we saw could have been mistaken for a scene out of"The Godfather". There sat Anthony at a make-shift desk with one of those green banker's lamps on it sitting with his hands folded and flanked by a bunch of guys, one on his immediate right side and the rest gathered behind him standing.  They were introduced to us as (I had to check my old diary for the names!) Ricky, Mikey, Paulie, Louie, Joey, Johnny and Sonny. Anthony was dressed in a suit. Yes, a suit like he would wear to church and he wore a gold pinkie ring (a gift from Nonno). We always knew this kid wasn't normal, and now we were sure of it.  I will tell you what happened next time...ciao!      

My Italian Grandmother...cont'd.

So, last time I was telling you the story of the day that Pops got stuck under his truck out back and Nonna was over at the house right?  Well anyhow, Pops was shouting and hollering thinking that Ma was still home and didn't know she had left to get Bruno.  Nonna heard him alright, but her response was to just turn up the volume on the television that much louder. She just sat there watching her show as Pops yelled for help, like nothing was even happening.  The only help for Pops came on four legs.  There was this stray mutt that had been coming around since we moved in, Tony and Bruno and I used to feed him the food we didn't like and we called him Scruff, but we knew Pops would not let us keep him.  Well, it was as if Scruff knew he had to get in good with Pops if he wanted to stay. He came up to him and licked him, at first Pops got even madder but then Ma came home and the dog actually went and brought her right to Pops. Ma got a neighbor to help her jack the truck up and off of Pops.  He wasn't really hurt luckily, he had just been trapped. A skinny person would have been able to slither out, but Pops was never skinny....Ma already had a soft-spot for Scruff, so she managed to talk Pops into letting us keep him and that is how we got our dog.  Ma told Pops that Nonna was there, and didn't understand why didn't he get her to help. Pops was not surprised. When she went inside to question Nonna, there was no sign of her anywhere!  The only evidence left was that the tv got left on the Italian station she had been watching.  Nonna could be so sneaky..really.  I guess that is where my Uncle Anthony picked it up from.  Uncle Anthony got away with things that would put most other kids in juvie!  I have a lot to say about him, so until next time....ciao!

Prosciutto, Antipasto,Cannoli and an extra helping of....Amarezza! - My Nonna

Hey everyone, sorry I was away so long...but this whole weekend was crazy busy because my litttle sister Baretta just got married..congrats sis and Mario!  They are honeymooning in St.Kitts, I am so jealous...Anyhow I said last time that I would tell you all about my little Italian grandmother, and I remembered a funny story about her so here it goes.  My grandmother, or Nonna as we called her, is a tiny woman, she never stood more than about 4 ft 10 and she always kind of reminded me of Dr. Ruth, only Italian looking. She was dark complexioned and dark-haired, but had gone mostly gray by her fifties. She had a prominent "Roman" nose which is something Pops has always poked fun at her about, that and the faint mustache on her upper lip. Like I mentioned before, Pops and Nonna HATE each other, always have and always will. Even now, Nonna had a stroke a few years back and now lives in a nursing home, she can't really speak anymore but when she sees Pops (Ma drags him there) she still shoots an icy glare his way.  Nonno when he was alive, used to say "Anna is full of amarezza !" In Italian that mean bitterness.  It's true too, Nonna has always been suspicious and jaded towards just about everyone for some reason, she has never talked much of her past so we don't really know why.  There are things she loved above anything though when she was well, those being: 1.The church-she always carried her rosary. 2. her son Anthony, Ma's younger brother-she always used to claim he would be a priest, but Anthony had other plans...a topic I will cover later 3. Bruno-because "he's a Bonzerelli", Bonzerelli is Ma's family name. 4. Angie-my cousin, because she is Anthony's daughter 5. cooking and baking -she was an amazing cook, I'll give her that! 6. opera 7. Nonno's homemade wine-the only thing she drinks. 8. Pinocchio-not the wooden boy, but this was a cat she had that I think lived for 20 years or something and when it died she blamed Pops because the cat also hated him.  And that's about it.  Nonna never really liked Tony and I , probably because when we were kids Anthony who is not much older than we are always did bad things and set us up to take the blame, that and the fact that we look more like Pops!  Nonna was very emotional and excitable and was prone to fainting when something upset her.  She would start hyperventilating and have to breathe into a paper bag, which she always had in her ever-present purse. I think she even took her purse into the washroom with her at her own house!  I just don't remember ever seeing her without a purse.  Anyhow, one day Pops was out back working underneath his truck when Nonna came over to see Ma. Well, Ma got a call from the school that Bruno had wet his pants...again...so she had to go pick him up, Tony and I were also at school.  That left Nonna alone in the house with Pops working out back, but he didn't know she was there. Next, I think Pops' foot slipped or something and knocked the jack out from under the truck, essentially pinning him under where he was working. He started to shout out for help, thinking Ma was inside still, but little did he know that Nonna was there. She was sitting on the couch watching the Italian Telejournal with the volume turned up, and a little knowing smile on her face....as Pops shouted out back for help. I will tell you the rest of the story next time....ciao!

The Big White Van and The Funny Little Man Cont'd...

Hi Everyone!  So last time I was telling you about the day when Ma told Pops that she had quit her job and bought that big van right? And that guy who was in the van came into our house, Ma introduced him to us as Stuart and said that he was one of the guys she takes care of at The Independent Living Centre where she now worked, it was one of those group homes for mentally and physically challenged people who are able to go out on daytrips and stuff. Pops just stood there looking dumbfounded. I could tell right away that he and Stuart were not going to be best buddies by the way they looked at each other. Stuart stuck his tongue out at Pops and Pops snarled at him in response.  "Barney, be nice!" Ma told him.  Stuart asked Ma if he could go get the others and she told him certainly.  Now Pops started questioning Ma,"Others? What others? Babe, where did you get the money for that thing in the driveway?"  Ma told him "Well Barn, I put aside some of the money from Papa and I had some saved up too. I really need the van Barney, for the "special guys".  "Special guys?" Pops asked with a kind of creeped out tone to his voice, "What is so special about them may I ask, Babe?"  Ma smiled a knowing smile, "Oh, you'll see Barney, you'll see."   "I don't like the sound of that!" Pops grunted.  "So Babe, I hope this job pays better than the hair salon?"  Ma looked uncomfortable, "Actually Barney it pays just a little, tiny bit less..."  Pops looked pissed now, "Oh just how much is a little bit Babe?"  Before Ma could answer, Stuart came back in only this time he wasn't alone, 4 other guys piled in after him. Bruno started to giggle and Ma shot him a look. Two were in motorized wheelchairs and the other ones could walk but were all what we called back then, "handicapped". Sorry if I am not being politically correct-Ma liked to call them "differently-abled". :)  Pops looked as though someone had pulled his pants down. My father has never been someone who is comfortable with "different" people so this was too much for him!  Ma introduced the rest of the guys to us as Eddy, Arnold, Bobby, and Larry.  They were actually pretty cool as it turned out, but Pops didn't think so  It also turned out that Ma was making $4 an hour less, which to Pops was a big deal, especially since he had lost his job. He also announced that day his plans to open up his own barber shop in the basement, that was the story he told Ma to explain the barber pole he "found". Of course he had to listen to Nonna lecturing him about how he would never be a success and that he was a fool who...."ruined my daughter's life" once again. My little Italian grandmother with the big mouth-I will tell you about her next time.....ciao

The Big White Van and The Funny Little Man....

Ma's New Ride

Hey Guys-today I wanted to share a funny little story about my Ma.  Since I told you all about Pops last time, I thought today I would tell you about Ma. My mother, Babetta Bonzerelli Baffilini is the most loving person I know. Everyone calls her "Babe" by the way. She looks something like Ginny Sacramento on the Sopranos (I'm hoping you know who that is).  Ma is the type of nurturing soul who just loves to look after anyone and anything.  She really never got angry, instead she is more of a crier and always tries to make peace. I don't know how many time I heard "Now we are all friends here.." when I was growing up. Ma is a proud Italian-American, we had both flags outside our house...and a devout Catholic, we even had the statues of saints in our garden!  She loved to knit us stuff and once she even sent us to school wearing matching "Kiss Me, I'm Italian" t-shirts, my bro Tony beat up some geeks and stole their shirts just so we could ditch those things!  Anyhow, remember the story about Pops? Well, it just so happened that on that same day Ma had some news of her own. Nonna arrived, and was now busy telling Pops he was no good and "ruined my daughter's life" a phrase we had heard just about every time she and Pops were anywhere near each other.  Just then, Tony came in from out front and said, "Hey whose big white van is that parked outside?"  Pops, who was already livid stormed to look out and started cursing saying "Ah, bugger! If they think they can just use my drive as a &%$# parking lot, then I'll just...."  Then Ma stepped in sheepishly, blushing and said "It's my van, Barney."  Pops kept going on and then fell silent.  "Whoa, back up Babe. I must be imagining things because I could have sworn you said that van was YOURS."  Ma nodded guiltily,"Yes Barney, it is mine. I bought it because I need it, I need it for my...new job."  Pops exploded "New job? What the hell happened to your old job Babe?"  Ma had been a hairstylist, but hated it.  "I quit my job Barn, and now I have a job I love." Just then the horn from the van honked outside. We all went to the window to look. There in the passenger's seat sat a funny little man. "Do you know that guy, Ma?" Tony asked her. Ma gestured to the man to come in. He hopped out of the car and headed to our front door, we noticed he walked kind of funny. Anyhow, I will tell you what happens next time.......

JBTW-Do You Know Someone Who is a "Scentaholic"? Check this out. From The Desk of ROSALIE

Hey Guys-I'm back!  I was real busy yesterday since it was my little sister's bridal shower, I can't believe she is getting married!  I remember the day she was born-I had just started high school, I feel so old!   Anyhow one thing about me is I don't like shopping.  Call me strange because all women are supposed to love it blah blah blah....but I don't.  I hate the crowded shops full of rude people and the long line-ups. Just not my thing!  That is why I love to shop online!  My sis Baretta is what I call a "scentaholic", that is she just loves perfume and collects them-she has more scents than the fragrance counter at Macy's!  Rather than buy her the typical kind of shower gift like a blender or a frying pan like everyone else gave her, I knew what she really wanted so I went online to PERFUME EMPORIUM after a friend of mine told me about it and ordered a couple of her favorite scents that I knew she wanted.  I received my order after only 4 days and everything was nicely and safely wrapped- I was impresed!  Everything they sell is real too, no knock-offs that smell like bug spray!  Anyhow, if you are like me and are an online shopping junkie like me you need to
CHECK THIS OUT!

My Pops and the Case of the missing Barber Pole...

So last time I was talking about when we moved into our house and some of the nasty little surprises that came with the place....yeah it had its share of decomposing furniture and handles that fall off in your hand etc. but it gradually shaped up.  That is, once Ma got her entire plastic collection moved in...my Ma had it all: the plastic flowers, fruits, lampshade and couch covers!  Anyhow I have mentioned my parents a lot so far and I know that you don't know them so here is a brief description(I will talk about Pops for now and do Ma next time) My Pops -Barnaba Baffilini, but everyone calls him Barney (he hates Barnaba). He really always reminded me of Dom Deluise (RIP), but just a bit scruffier. Pops always wore until sometime in the 90's, brown leather workboots.  The thing is, none of us kids can remember him ever taking them off!  Even in the summer! It's like they were fused to his feet or something. He was(he's retired now) a barber and opened up his own shop in the basement of our house because he lost his job shortly after we moved which brings me to a funny little story.....You see, Pops had worked for 15 years for a man we will call "Rocco", he was his best friend's uncle and a long-time mentor. Well, the day came when Rocco had to let an employee go because he just couldn't afford to pay so many barbers, and Pops who has always been rather blunt with people was not the most popular, so in spite of his seniority, Rocco fired him.  Pops was so furious on his way out he pulled down Rocco's barber pole-you know the striped, swirly thing and took off.  Shortly after he arrived home, barber pole in toe, Ma showed up and he knew she would be very upset that he took it, so his solution was to clumsily stuff it under the living room couch. At first he thought Ma would not notice, but then Bruno, my little brother went digging under the couch because his matchbox car rolled under there and he unwittingly ratted Pops out.  Pops spluttered trying to say it was broken and someone had put it out for trash and he was going to fix it, but then Bruno had the bright idea to plug it in and the thing lit up and started spinning! Ma was not impressed. Just then, practically on cue, the phone rang and Ma answered-it was Rocco asking if Pops knew anything about the whereabouts of his barber pole!  Then Pops had no choice but to come clean and admit to Ma he had lost his job.  The icing on the cake was when the doorbell rang (if you could call that farting sound a ring) and there stood Nonna, who Bruno proudly announced to that Pops had lost his job and stolen a barber pole! Poor Pops had this "just shoot me" look on his face.....I'll never forget it!  This was one of those classic "hand in cookie jar" moments, any of you guys have any embarrassing tales like that?